Bawdy Bangkok

   

In the first cab to the cabaret show

       The journey from Siem Reap to Bangkok didn’t take as long as expected, however, the border crossing took much longer. After being dropped off by the bus, we waited for our bags (the ones at the very bottom) to be removed from the bus. Finally grabbing them, we headed around the traffic circle and into the huge group that was congregating around immigration. We stood in line forever, as the line finally split into four lines. Quickly passing the counter (again we were finger-printed), we walked to the other side and stopped, unaware of where we were supposed to go next. We didn’t see anyone from our bus, nor the “guide” that had pointed us in the direction of immigration. Walking down the road, we passed fruit stands and more children asking for money. Finally, we saw customs and a large, imposing sign threatening a life sentence or execution for having anything to do with drugs. We were shuffled through, and then came out the other side, where we were given colored stickers signaling our destination. Just like cattle. As we were shepherded past the station, the red stickers continued on and the yellow stickers (us) stopped in front of a mini-mart. Waiting for the bus, we were surprised to find that we were standing next to it the entire time. And by “bus” they meant “large van that we’re going to stuff with as many people as we possibly can.” Debating whether to wait or jump on in the last possible space, we quickly made our decision after one of the guys on the bus said that he had been waiting for three hours. Squished next to the backpacks, we put our headphones in and waited out the four hour ride.
    Arriving in Bangkok, we were dropped off on the side of a street. Trying to contact Baitoey, we walked along the busy roads looking for internet. Finding a restaurant advertising it, we stopped inside, only to discover that the internet didn’t work. Leaving me with our bags, Becca ran across the street to persuade the jewelry store to let her use their internet for a minute. Ten minutes later, she came back, saying she found a restaurant down the road but that she said she was waiting for me, used the internet and then ran off. So we went back to the restaurant and waited for Baitoey to respond to our face book message.
    Enjoying pad thai and lemon tea, we decided to just find a guesthouse and hang out with Baitoey tomorrow. Finding one on our maps app, we headed off in the direction we thought it was in. A few wrong turns later, we ended up on Khosan Road. Spotting a sign for our guesthouse on this bright, lively street, we turn left, through the displays of jewelry, past the t-shirts, down a narrow alleyway, past a little restaurant, around a corner, past a tattoo parlor and finally found it. We agreed to meet Baitoey tomorrow at her university and settled in for the night.
    The next day, we walked the opposite direction, through more shops, beauty parlors and apparently a casino before arriving at a street to catch a cab. The first two cabs didn’t understand the address B had sent us, but the third did. “Far, why there” the driver asked. “Meeting a friend.” And we set off for her school. Arriving at the road, the cab driver dropped us off, and we waited for Baitoey to arrive. We saw her immediately, waving frantically from across the street in a bright shirt. She walked us to her campus and we sat down and waited for her friend, Joy, to meet us. While we waited, Baitoey brought us over a snack, after asking if we liked mango and spicy. What she came back with did not remind me of mango at all. It was shredded mango, dried shrimp, peanuts, and some sort of dried fish with a spicy orange sauce over it all. And the she brought over coconuts with straws in them. This became the trend for the day, we asked what something was or Baitoey thought we would like it, and we would get it. Thus, the feasting day began.
    We hopped in the cab, and arrived a little over an hour later at a temple. Baitoey and Joy showed us where to light the incense and candle, where to put the candle, where to place the little square of gold paper, and where we were supposed to pray. Usually we just walk into temples, appreciate the beauty, snap a few pictures and leave, so it was nice to be able to participate.

    After the temple, we headed out to take a boat around the harbor. Climbing in the little boat, our guide assured us that we would not tip over. Laughing, we snapped pictures of the fishing villages, the fish that “walks” out of water, and the lizards that crawl around. Back to the cab, we headed out and stopped at another temple. This temple was overlooked by a monk sitting inside, who told us that we were very beautiful. Thanking him, we walked around admiring the wood carvings and prayed with Baitoey and Joy. Leaving the temple, we smiled at the sleeping monk.
    Outside, Baitoey showed us the gongs that you hit for luck. Becca and I hit them a few times, hoping for the best. Back to the cab, we drove for a while again, eventually reaching one of Bangkok’s famous floating markets. We went to Amphawa, one that is less touristy, but more popular with locals. The first things we walked through were clothes and some trinkets, and then the market began. We were immediately greeted with desserts of every kind, green wrapped ones, ones stuffed with cream, and little popsicles surrounded by ice and water in a large tin bucket. Asking Baitoey about them, she insisted we get them, We tried to eat them quickly so the brightly colored juice wouldn’t run down our fingers. Passing fried foods, fish in little baskets, and fushia and green desserts, we finally made it to the river. Walking along the edges of the market, we peered down people in boats cutting fruit and cooking seafood.

the floating market

    Stopping at a restaurant with little tables on the edge of the ledge, we sat on the ground and ordered seafood-shrimp, scallops, spicy seafood salad, squid, and real pad thai. Everything was delicious, the seafood was fresh, and the pad thai was perfect- a leaf with noodles, bread crumbles, seafood and a little pile of sugar, peanuts and red pepper flakes. Stuffed, we continued our walk along the river, stopping for banana pieces cooked on a stick. A few stops later, Baitoey insisted that we get some sun cakes. They ended up being kind of strange-a flakey dough with a more solid, sweet inside. Since it was sweet, Becca loved it. And then B insisted that we get ice cream and these little jelly and cream treats. On our way out, Baitoey got dessert tacos stuffed with sugar and coconut and cotton candy. After all of this sugar, we called it a day.
    The next day, Baitoey met us at our guesthouse at about noon. We had already made a trip to Starbucks for Becca’s addiction and were waiting contently with our drinks. We got onto yet another cab and headed to one of the large markets, as Baitoey enjoyed shopping as much as we do. On our way, we stopped at a jewelry gallery, the largest in Thailand. At first, we were confused as to why Baitoey took us here, as there were also really touristy scarves, wallets and trinkets that were way more expensive than the open-air markets. We detoured and entered the main gem area, where there were thousands of necklaces, earrings, bracelets and rings in glass cases. Wandering around, we were again followed by an annoying suited woman that was assigned to us the moment we came in. She was always behind us, no matter where we went. We each bought a sapphire ring that was more than we budgeted for, but way less than we would have paid in the states.
    Leaving the jewelry store, we drove to the market, where we were overwhelmed with the amount of clothing, trinkets and food available. Walking through the aisles, I stopped to look at dresses, while Baitoey bought some shoes. The shops became more boutique-like, but still at inexpensive prices. We stopped at a little restaurant-stand to try another sweet- black jelly with ice and brown sugar. Stopping at a restaurant for lunch, we tried more Thai food-including sour soup and fish cakes.

One of the lady-boys at the cabaret show

    Back at our hotel, we got ready to go to Calypso- a cabaret show. Taking a cab to the hotel was quite simple, the most difficult part was pushing our way through the crowd on Khaosan Road. Arriving slightly late, we lucked out by buying tickets that someone had reserved, but didn’t show up for. Three rows away from the stage, we were center stage for a cabaret show by the highest paid prostitutes in the world. And they happened to be transgender men. Gorgeous transgender men. Their hair was long and flowing and they wore tight, revealing dresses and leotards. As we left, we took pictures with one of our favorites- a spirited, pretty brunette. As we walked outside, we tried to guesstimate how far away the Hilton was.
    Turns out that none of the cab drivers knew what or where the Hilton was. Five cabs, numerous phone calls to cab driver’s English speaking friends, and a cab driver that drove us around, stopping at random hotels later, Becca called her dad and asked him to look up the address. He incredulously asked, “they don’t know where the Hilton is?” Nope. Apparently, it’s the Millennium Hilton and most of the letters in “Hilton” are unpronounceable in Thai. Interesting.
    After getting out of the cab, as the driver tried to charge us more after he figured out where we were really going, we found an older driver that used the meter. Finally arriving at the Hilton, we took the elevator to the highest floor, to go to the 360 skybar. The outside patio area was very quite, there were two guys sipping cocktails as they overlooked the city. The inside was a little busier, but not by much. Jazz music was being played by a band, as a woman sang in the glowing blue room. We ordered cocktails- a strawberry Belvedere and a blueberry pancake- and sipped our drinks as we looked out over Bangkok.

At the top of the Hilton- the 360 bar

    Before long, a group of businessmen showed up, along with a few women. A couple of the guys came over to talk to us, and we found out that they were on business from Canada. After Becca frightened the Jewish guy away by talking about Israel, one of the women excitedly rushed over. She had gone to UW-Madison about ten years ago and was thrilled to meet other alumni. She worked for the previous Thai government, had been a member of Parliament and was now a superintendent. She immediately decided that her brother, who had also gone to UW, needed to come join us as well. As the older men left, a small group remained with us. And proceeded to buy a bottle of whisky and pay the servers and bartenders to stay open for a few more hours, past bar time. Chatting until the early morning, they then decided that we should all go to a club. Walking out of the hotel, we hopped into the awaiting Porsche and BMW, and sped off into the night.
    Two clubs, numerous gin and tonics and vodka redbulls later, we were exhausted and ready to go back. And then we were invited to one of our new friend’s (Matt) dad’s birthday parties the next day. Matt offered to put us up in the Hilton for the remainder of our stay, get us flights to the island we were going to, and let us use his yacht while we were there. And then sent one of his drivers to take us to the India Embassy to apply for our visas. Way to represent, Wisconsin Alum.